


3 Guys 1 House

by gamesetmatch



Category: Fate/Grand Order, Fate/stay night & Related Fandoms
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Roommates/Housemates, Crack, Cute, M/M, Romance, i guess, lapslock
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-26
Updated: 2018-03-26
Packaged: 2019-04-08 06:39:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 757
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14099472
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gamesetmatch/pseuds/gamesetmatch
Summary: AU where Red, Blue, and Gold live in one house to split the chores. Gilgamesh picks up a boyfriend from somewhere and shenanigans.





	3 Guys 1 House

**Author's Note:**

> This has been sitting around in my drafts for a while so I may as well throw this out here. It was done in a moment of spontaneity and I'm not sure how I'll continue it, though I have some rough notes.

emiya paused in the middle of taking his shoes off in the doorway. 

the stench of distress wafting in from the living room was staggering. and not exactly an uncommon occurrence. he made his way into the living room and sure enough, there was cu chulainn fussing in front of their tv.

 

“what, did you break the tv again?” he asked in lieu of a greeting.

cu didn’t even spare him a glance. “fuck you, it’s not my fault it’s not responding!” 

with that, cu gave the appliance another whack. emiya disappeared into the kitchen and came back out with a glass of water, perfectly nonplussed while watching cu try the buttons again.

“you know when he finds out you broke the tv he’s going to—” and emiya pauses for dramatic effect, “—to buy a new one, so don’t worry about it.”

“yeah, and you’re not supposed to encourage his wasteful practices. aren’t you supposed to be good at fixing shit? stop being lazy over there and help me fix it.”

emiya sighed and placed his empty cup on the coffee table. “fine, fine. but isn’t that our arrangement? i cook, you clean and garden, and he pays for everything. i’m charging extra for my handiwork.”

“whatever. when did he say he was coming back, anyway?”

“the 21st?” emiya unscrewed the back panel and began to tinker around. “what day is it today?”

as if just on cue, the two of them hear the door open and a familiar laugh chime across the hallway. 

“the 21st,” cu informs him, helpfully.

“fuhahahaha! i’m home, mongrels!” 

“did you get me what i asked for?” emiya yells back.

“no, but i got what i wanted! both of you, come here! i want you to meet someone!”

“hey, you said you were getting me a—”

they stopped in their tracks when they reached the doorway and saw a tanned, very shinily dressed man standing next to their just-as-flashy roommate.

their just-as-flashy roommate, whose name was a just-as-gaudy gilgamesh, beamed and announced with a flourish, “this is my new boyfriend, ramses the second!” 

“fufufu, it’s nice to finally meet you guys. gilgamesh told me a lot about you all. oh yeah, where’s the pet dog?”

“...we don’t have a dog,” cu said through gritted teeth.

“really? gilgamesh said he’s not trained well and even broke the tv twice. i bought dog treats along the way to help!”

“i said you didn’t need to, sunny one,” gilgamesh admonished, reaching out to playfully tap his arm.

“I know, but i wanted to, golden one,” his new boyfriend croned at him.

they looked adoringly into each others eyes. emiya and cu looked away as discretely as they could and tried not to gag.

“well, anyway, ozy and i are going out for dinner. bring my bags to my room, mongrels. your souvenirs are in the side compartment.”

“so you did get it, asshole. thanks,” emiya said begrudgingly, and began wheeling the luggage further into the house.

“uh, ramses the second, was it? it’s nice meeting you,” cu, who had some ounce of social etiquette, nodded at the boyfriend’s growing smile and noted the glow to gilgamesh’s matching grin.

“please, ozy is fine. short for ozymandias—my other name,” ozymandias stated proudly, and cu really felt like he was seeing double for a moment. he knew his roommate was narcissistic, but christ, how did gilgamesh manage to pick up another copy of himself? 

“have fun,” cu waved halfheartedly at their retreating backs. gilgamesh was tugging ozymandias forward and, well, it was actually kind of cute. 

and now the house was loads quieter! cu smiled despite himself and joined emiya in collecting his souvenir from hawaii.

hey, it was a pretty nice t-shirt. very hawaiian, and clashing with cu’s color scheme in the flashy way that was definitely traceable to gilgamesh’s obnoxious fashion sense.

“so, how long are we betting on the new guy?” emiya spoke up, his new metal alloy securely in his arms. 

“i don’t know, he actually seems like he’s in for the long haul.”

they paused to let that thought sink into the space between them.

truth to be told, they were somewhat relieved. gilgamesh had always been flighty and hard to handle. he went through new boyfriends hanging off his arm like he went through the latest cars. there hadn’t been a guy to match him, one that could both enable and restrain him, not ever since...

if enkidu was watching, cu feels this might be the one to have his blessing.


End file.
